Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

August 30, 2004 – Number 5764-36

Wedding 5 – The Wedding Ceremony- Part II

We are now ready for the part of the service called Nisuin, the actual wedding itself. As I mentioned last week in #5764-35, There are three ways that the Sages said a person can become married. As part of this ceremony, we will see all three.
First, and article of value will be exchanged. This is usually the ring. Remember that it must have the minimum value of the smallest coin, it must have a value that is easy to ascertain, (without holes in the band and without stones set in the band) and it must belong to the groom). Since this is the first way a person gets married, it is also the one that, for all intents and purposes, is the way Jews get married. The groom places the ring on the index finger of the right hand of the bride so all can see that he has placed it there (she can move it to another finger later, right now it just has to go over the first knuckle). The groom makes a formal declaration to the bride, in Hebrew and in English. “With this ring you are sanctified to me as my wife in accordance with the law of Moses and the People Israel.” Whenever a man gives an item of value to a woman and recites this passage in front of two kosher witnesses, that man and woman are married. This is not a passage to play around with. Any man of legal age (that is over age 13 in Jewish Law) is married when he recites this line, even if it is in rehearsal or as an educational enactment. We do not fool around with this because it will require a Jewish Divorce before either party can remarry. It may effect who they can marry later too. We do not play around with this part of the ceremony.
If the bride will be presenting a ring to the groom, she will present it now. There are some who do not permit double ring ceremonies, there is a claim that it nullifies the presentation of the groom. I and many other rabbis do not hold by this but you should check with the Rabbi who is doing the ceremony to insure that there will not be a problem. Some Rabbis, in an effort to be equal, will have the bride recite the female equivalent of the passage recited by the groom. Others will have her recite a verse from some other part of the Bible. The verse from Shir HaShirim, The Song of Songs, that reads, “I am to my beloved as my beloved is to me.” is a popular verse for the bride to recite. Jewish Weddings do not have “vows” in the usual sense of the word. The Ketubah spells out the obligations that each party has agreed to so “vows” are unnecessary. Vows can be added, and if they are, they are added before the ring ceremony. The couple can write their own vows or the Rabbi can pronounce them. There is not reason that they should not be egalitarian in nature.
The next step is the reading of the Ketubah. This is the “Shtar” portion of the service. The Wedding Contract is read, first in its original Aramaic, and then the English is read. Since the Aramaic reads like an insurance policy, the English often takes a great deal of poetic license, adding the flowery language that a wedding deserves. After the Rabbi reads the Ketubah and certain that it has been witnessed properly, the Rabbi hands the Ketubah to the groom who then hands it to his bride. Just as with the rings, all she needs to do is accept it from his hand and not reject it and it effects the marriage.
The bride must keep the Ketubah in her home as long as they are married. It is the contract of their marriage. Often a couple will frame it and place it on the wall of their home. Some will make a copy to be placed in their safe deposit box. The original should remain in the home. Without a Ketubah, the Rabbis say a couple can not live together, so this is a rather important document to have around. Since the Ketubah grants rights to the bride, the contract is considered her property.

Next week: Wedding 6: The Wedding Ceremony-Part III – The Sheva Berachot

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

August 23, 2004- Number 5764-35

Wedding 4 – The Wedding Ceremony- Part I

Prior to the wedding ceremony, the couple, the Rabbi and two witnesses gather together to begin the formal preparations for the wedding. Judaism does not hold by the superstition that a groom should not see the bride until she walks down the aisle. In some places, there are special celebrations for the bride and groom, with the women attending the celebration for the bride and the men attending the celebration for the groom. The two celebrations then come together for the formal signing of the ketubah. In ancient times, contracts were not signed by the parties to the contract, but by witnesses who affirmed that the two people had indeed entered into an agreement. It is therefore not necessary for the bride and groom to sign the Ketubah, but there must be two witnesses who are not related to either party who must sign for the Ketubah to be valid. In the United States, the civil marriage licence is signed at this time as well. The groom then is given a handkerchief by the Rabbi signifying his acceptance of the terms of the Ketubah. The Bride will signal her acceptance later.
The rings that will be used for the ceremony will then be examined to insure that they are proper for the wedding. The rings used for the ceremony must have three qualifications. It must have a minimum value. It must be worth at least the amount of the smallest coin in use. By size, this means it must be worth a dime! Second, it must have a value that is easy to ascertain. It must be of a metal that is valued by weight (gold or platinum are common) and can have no stones set in it ( because a gem must be valued by an appraiser and thus the value is not easy to ascertain) or any holes in the band (lest it look like a big ring but it is really mostly air). Third, the ring must belong to the groom. He can not give the bride a ring that belongs to someone else. If the couple want to use a ring that has significance to the family ( a family heirloom) it must be sold to the groom prior to the wedding. It can not be given as a gift. A gift, in Judaism can be returned upon the request of the benefactor, but an item sold is not subject to this kind of return.
The groom then places the veil on his bride. It is the custom that this be done by the groom since the days of Jacob and Lavan, in the Torah. Lavan, Jacob’s father-in-law to be, was supposed to let Jacob marry Rachel, but he swapped Rachel for her sister Leah and because of the veil, Jacob did not discover the switch until morning. Since that time the groom puts the veil on his bride to make sure he is marrying the right sister! It is not time for the wedding ceremony and the bride and groom go to the huppah with much singing and celebration.
In the United States, there is a formal wedding procession but this is not the Jewish practice. In most places the entire wedding party accompanies both the bride and groom to the huppah. The Huppah is a small covered “tent like” structure that symbolizes the home that is being founded this day. When a wedding is held outside, it marks off the location of the wedding from the surrounding area. It can be made of most any material and can be held up by friends or be free standing. It can be set up almost anywhere except a few places where one wouldn’t want to be married anyway (bathroom, cemetery. etc.) There is a custom that the groom wear a “kittel” a white garment that reminds us of Yom Kippur. Often the Groom will also wear a tallit. It is the groom who escorts his bride under the Huppah so if the parents of the groom wish to walk the bride to the Huppah, they meet the groom on the way and so she leaves her parents and accompanies the groom to the Huppah.
I have found no legal basis for the bride or groom to circle the other prior to the ceremony. The reasons that are given are custom and there is little agreement as to why this custom is done. I can only assume that this is a remnant of an old superstition relating to magic circles. There is thus no reason for the circling. Most of the reasons given today are misogynist in extreme. While it is not forbidden, I don’t encourage it.
The bride and groom, once they arrive under the Huppah are welcomed with the standard greeting for all such happy occasions (like a brit milah or pidyon haben) with “Baruch HaBah – Blessed are you who have come.” If the wedding is taking place in a synagogue, we add, “We bless you from this House of G-d” the Rabbi takes the first cup of wine and pronounces the blessing of Arusin, the formal engagement blessing. We talked about Arusin last week (#5764-34) and we mentioned that once this blessing was done a year in advance of the wedding but now it is part of the wedding service. After the blessing, the bride and groom drink the first cup of wine. (The wine must be Kosher and it must be grape wine lest the blessings be in vain. It does not matter if the wine is sweet or dry, white or rose or red)

Next week: Wedding 5: The Wedding Ceremony-Part II

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

August 16, 2004 – Number 5764-34

Wedding 3 – The Ketubah

Since Weddings are not part of the Torah, the Talmud picks up where the Torah is silent. According to the Rabbis of the Talmud, a man “acquires” a wife in one of three ways: With “Kesef”, By “Shtar” or with “Bi-ah”. The term “Kesef” means “money”. By giving a woman a gift that has a value, the man and woman are married. Today this is accomplished when the man gives the woman a ring.
“Shtar” means “contract” a man and woman are married when a man hands the woman a contract that provides some monetary security. Today, this contract is called a “Ketubah”.
“Bi-ah” refers to sexual intimacy. When a man and woman initiate a sexual relationship with marriage in mind, and two witnesses see them go into a room and spend time there alone. This also constitutes a marriage. The Sages admitted that this was a legal marriage, but they promised to flog any man who would take a wife this way. It was undignified for both parties and left the woman unprotected if the man wanted a divorce.
The origin of the Ketubah is in a simple financial arrangement. The price a man had to pay his future father-in-law became so high that the Rabbis were concerned that men would no longer marry. To relive this situation, the Sages ruled that the man could issue a “promissary note” for the amount of money (in ancient days, it was 200 zuzim, a great sum of money since you only need 2 zuzim for one goat) the man promised to pay the 200 zuzim if he were to predecease his wife or if he were to divorce her. This money represented a first mortgage on all his property and was actually paid in land. It was the first claim on his estate after he had died and secured the position of the widow so she would not fall into poverty.
Today we are used to seeing the Ketubah as a work of art, often commissioned especially for the wedding. We hear all kinds of beautiful language read at the wedding, but what we hear at a wedding in English has little relationship to the Aramaic text of the Ketubah. Since ancient days, the wording of the Ketubah reads, literally, like an insurance policy, because that is what it, in effect, really is. It is not romantic at all, rather is spells out the financial relationship between the husband and wife. At the wedding he signs the document and it is witnessed by two who are unrelated to either the bride or the groom, and then the groom hands the document to the bride under the Huppah. When she accepts it from his hand, they have been married according to the second definition of a wedding as described above.
While there is a custom in the Western Hemisphere, for the groom not to see the bride before the wedding, this is really just an old superstition. In a Jewish wedding the groom must see the bride before the wedding and usually it is right after the Ketubah is signed. Today, the Ketubah is signed by both the bride and the groom.
In the middle of the last century, the Conservative Movement added a clause to the Ketubah to help ease the plight of those who were stuck in a marriage when their partner refused to grant them a divorce. Sometimes there would be cases of extortion and pure greed that prevented a couple from ending a bad marriage. Without a proper Jewish Divorce, neither party could ever remarry. This clause in the Ketubah, called the “Liberman clause” after Rabbi Saul Liberman, a great Talmudic authority at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York. It had both bride and groom promise to arbitrate and disputes in their marriage before a Rabbinical court and abide by its decision. It’s use has waned in recent years because of other remedies for divorce that have become popular that don’t cause one to think about divorce on the wedding day.
While the standard amount of a Ketubah is still 200 zuzim (today it is only a symbolic amount. A zuz no longer buys what it used to.) The Sephardim often put large sums of real money into their Ketubot as a sign of the love and affection for the bride. Conservative Judaism has not adopted this practice as it only complicates things should the relationship ever end up in divorce. It may seem strange that much of the wedding rituals also relate to divorce rituals as well, but the Rabbis did not create a wedding without creating a way out of marriage. Divorce is possible by Torah Law, and the Sages had to establish those rituals as well. They saw Divorce as “undoing” a marriage. So the two rituals are closely related. The Ketubah, the document of marriage, is nullified only by the Get, the Jewish document of divorce.

Next week: Wedding 4: The Wedding Ceremony

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

June 21, 2004- Number 5764-33

Wedding 2 – Engagement

While we can find plenty of example of marriages in the Bible, even in the Torah itself, There are virtually no Mitzvot in the Torah relating to HOW to get married. The only real hint of a wedding ceremony is the story of Jacob and Rachel where we learn that a wedding takes more than one day, that the bride was veiled, that a groom (or his family) had to pay a “bride-price” to the father of the bride. There also seems to be some issue of consent by the bride and groom, that is the parents could not arrange a marriage without their knowledge and consent. None of these things, however, is in the category of law. It is from these hints that Jewish wedding laws have grown but it should be understood that the whole wedding process is Rabbinic in nature. The Rabbis decide who can and can not get married, what the wedding rituals will be and what will be the legal ramifications of marriage.
The Talmud notes three stages to marriage. 1. Shidduchin: engagement (what we would call serious dating) 2. Arusin: Betrothal (what we would call engagement although to the rabbis this had different connotations.) And 3. Nisuin: Nupitals (the wedding ceremony itself)
Shidduchin- This is a state where the couple have informally agreed to be married, but there is no legal obligation. It was a festive and formal announcement by the family that the two will be married pending the negotiations as to the time, place, and size of the wedding as well as the obligations of each family to pay for what parts of the ceremonies and the dowery and maintenance of the bride and groom. These were incorporated in a document called “tenaiim” and it was a binding contract for the marriage. There was also a penalty stipulated for violating the agreement or breaking the engagement. In some places this agreement was “sealed” by the two future mother-in-laws breaking a plate. In the past breaking this agreement was a serious breach and while it did not affect the status of the bride and groom, it could have a serious effect on the moral standing of the family who breaks it. Today this ceremony is largely ceremonial and social in nature. The usual custom is that the groom gives his bride a ring and a public or written announcement is made. If the engagement is broken, the ring and other gifts should be returned.
Arusin: Is the formal engagement of the couple. Once it has been performed, the bride is forbidden to any other man that the groom. In past centuries, the Arusin would preceed the Nisuin by and interval of about 12 months. During this time the groom would gather the financial resources to pay the dowery and the bride would collect the items that she was required to bring into her home after the wedding. It was a time when the terms of the tenaiim would be fulfilled. The only difference was that if the engagement were broken after Arusin, than the couple would require a divorce and would carry the stigma of divorce in their lives. Arusin is performed by reciting a special blessing over a cup of wine, with the groom presenting to the bride an object (ring or other object) worth a “perutah” or more and reciting the formula of Kiddushin. This ceremony bound the couple together but they were not permitted to live together as husband and wife. Only after Nisuin could the couple set up a home together.
Today, Arusin and Nisuin are done one after the other in the Wedding ceremony and there is no longer a waiting period between them. Some say that the uncertain life of the Jews in Europe let to the demise of the Arusin period, when it could not be certain that the bride and groom could survive the turmoil of the year and make it to the wedding. If the groom disappeared during this time, the bride would be stuck waiting for him to either return and marry her, return and end the engagement or that there would be proof that he had died.

Next week: Wedding 3: The Ketubah

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

June 21, 2004- Number 5764-32

Wedding 1 – Who Can Marry and Who Can Not

Marriage is one of the most sacred institutions in Judaism. It is called, in Hebrew, “Kiddushin” for through marriage the marital bond is sanctified, it becomes not just a bond between a husband and wife, but also a bonding of both to G-d. It is the relationship that makes us most like G-d, in that through marriage, creation of life becomes possible. In addition, because Judaism is a religion that depends on strong families, our faith has an abiding interest in keeping marriage strong. Without strong marriages, the very foundation of Judaism can be weakened.
To create strong marriages, Judaism has many rules and regulations to protect Jewish interests in marriage. We have a tendency to see marriage as the love between two people. But marriage is more than the relationship. It carries with it the hopes and dreams of a family, of a community and of the religion. In the same way that civil law regulates marriage to prevent abuses and to create a strong society, so too Judaism speaks to what is permitted and not permitted in marriage. The first rules are over who we may or may not marry.
Jewish Law forbids the marriage between two people: 1. Who are ancestor and descendant; 2. A brother or sister or a half-brother or half-sister; 3. While civil law prohibits the marriage between an uncle and a niece or a aunt and nephew, Judaism does permit this. In addition, there are other forbidden unions. One can not marry any person who is already married (a divorce is required first);One can not marry a person who was born from a marriage that was either incestuous or adulterous. A man can not remarry a woman he has divorce after she has married another man who then died or divorced her. (This is to prevent women from being traded between men as if they were objects. It is an anti-prostitution law by the Rabbis); Jewish Law forbids the marriage of a Kohen to a divorced woman or a convert. The Law and Standards Committee of the Conservative Movement has permitted these marriages under certain circumstances. A person who divorced because of adultery can not marry the person with whom she had the adulterous union.
Judaism does not see all forbidden marriages as equal. Some are just plain invalid and if one were to disregard the law, the marriage would be null and void. No divorce is necessary since the marriage is invalid and not binding. Other marriages are also forbidden but not illegal. In these cases if one were to disregard the law, then Judaism would accept that a marriage had taken place but would require an immediate divorce.
Polygamy was once permitted in Judaism but since the year 1000 CE, it has been forbidden in Judaism. In fact, from Rabbinic times, there were few who had more than one wife and the feeling of scholars is that in the year 1000 CE, Rabbenu Gershom, who published this anti-polygamy law, was only stating what has in fact been the practice for hundreds of years. There is a provision for a man to resort to polygamy but in today’s world, it would only apply in the case where the first wife is mentally ill and unable to accept the get from her husband.
Next week: Wedding 2: Engagement
Beryl Glansberg writes about last weeks lesson on Blessings:
“Blessings could also apply to relationships that we have with other human beings as well as God. I think that if you are not thankful to your family, loved ones and those you come in contact with, blessing them every day, you are accepting a gift without acknowledging it. This could be perceived as stealing also. Many times Jews are under a misperception that you pray to God and cultivate that relationship, while the treasures and blessings of people you come in contact with go unacknowledged”
I respond:
We are far more likely to say “Thank you” to people we meet than we are to show proper gratitude to G-d. But Beryl is correct, we need to show our appreciation for all that we have in this world, not just the material things, but our relationships as well. Remember that human beings are created in G-d’s image and deserve the same respect we give to G-d. Whether we are “using” this world without thanking (blessing) G-d or “using” people, without showing proper gratitude, we are indeed stealing from others for our own personal needs.

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

June 14, 2004- Number 5764-31

Blessings for Different Occasions

What is a blessing? According to the Talmud it is any prayer that begins with a formula that mentions both the name of G-d (the four letter name that is never pronounced, that we vocalize as “Adonai”) and the G-d as ruler of the world (in Hebrew “Malchut”). The standard blessing format “Praised are You, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the Universe…” meets this criteria and is the basis for all blessings. Note that the Amida, the most ancient prayer in our Siddur, does not meet this criteria in its opening words. This is because the Amida predates the standardization of the blessing format.
Blessings have two forms, the short form, which opens with the phrasing above, and the long form which begins the same way, but ends with a “summary” (in Hebrew: Hatimah) that begins with “Praised are you Lord….” and concludes with a summary of the meaning of the blessing. When one long blessing follows another, we do not need to repeat the opening blessing and the Hatimah serves to keep the blessings separate.
Blessings are considered to be a way of showing our gratitude for all that G-d does for us in life. The Sages insisted that we recite 100 blessings a day as a way of understanding how dependant we are on G-d for almost every aspect of our life. I should add here that with the blessings that are recited as part of the liturgy of Shacharit, Mincha and Maariv, as well as with the Birkat HaMazon recited after meals, we can easily cover 100 blessings a day.
We are told that there is a blessing for everything in Judaism and this is very true. What does not have a specific blessing assigned to it, can be remembered in a series of generic blessings. For example, the Daily Amidah has no less than 19 blessings that refer to almost every aspect of our needs that we share with G-d. The 15th blessing is a generic blessing asking G-d to hear our prayers, those we say and those we feel in our hearts.
There are few sources that have EVERY possible blessing listed. Most are not easily available. Any good Siddur has a list of the most common blessings collected in a section on blessings. Siddurim that are specific for certain occasions may not carry these lists of blessings, but every “all purpose” Siddur will certainly have this list. You can find it in the large Sim Shalom (the complete version for Shabbat and Weekdays) beginning on page 708. There are blessings for all kinds of foods; i.e. spices, fruits, vegetables, wine, bread, cake and cookies, for eating the first fruit of the season and a generic blessing for all foods that don’t fit easily into one category or another. There is a blessing for smells; i.e. fragrant trees, spices, fruits and oils: blessings for natural events; i.e. seeing a storm, hearing thunder, seeing a rainbow, spring flowers, seeing the ocean or seeing something beautiful in nature. There are blessings for seeing special people, i.e. seeing a learned person, a head of state, or an exceptionally beautiful person. There is a blessing to be recited when hearing good news, and one for hearing bad news. There is a blessing for visiting a place where miracles occurred for our ancestors and when our own personal miracles occurred. There is a blessing for affixing a mezuza to a house, and for wearing new articles of clothing. There are blessings to recite when we witness a birth and a different blessing when we are confronted with death. Even in death we have a reason to thank G-d.
The Rabbis call the one who uses this world and does not thank the Creator, a theif.

Next week: Wedding I: Who can marry and who can not

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

June 6, 2004 – Number 5764-30

Tephillin

The Shema requires us to remember G-d, placing that remembrance upon our arm and between our eyes. This is the basic source of Tephillin. Tephillin consists of two black leather boxes containing the four passages Torah passages that speak about Tephillin (Deut 6:4-9; 11:13-21; Ex. 13:1-10; 13:11-16). The two boxes are not at all similar. The one that is worn on the head (Called “Shel Rosh”) has the imprint of the Hebrew Letter “Shin” on two sides, while the one worn on the arm (Called “Shel Yad”) is plain. The Shel Rosh has four compartments inside, one for each of the four passages inscribed on separate scrolls. The Shel Yad has only one compartment and all four passages are written on one scroll inside. The Shel Rosh has a strap that has a fixed loop that must be sized for the head that will be wearing it. The knot in that loop looks like a square with four compartments although there are some who have a knot that looks like a right angle with three compartments. This knot, when square, is called a “double daled” knot because it looks like two of the Hebrew letters “daled” placed opposite each other. The right angle knot is called a “single daled” because it looks like one “daled”. The ends of these straps are long and hang down past the hips. The Shel Rosh is worn with the box in the front, just above the hairline (or in case of baldness, where the hairline used to be) and the knot is placed in the back at the nape of the neck. The ends of the strap are brought around the front and hand over the shoulders. When the box is in place the blessing for the Shel Rosh is recited
The Shel Yad has a slip knot that has a long extension on it that looks like the letter “yod” The knot must always be touching the box (the cover for the Shel Yad may have a corner cut out so the knot will touch the box even when the Tephillin are wrapped up and stored away) The Shel Yad is worn on the “weak” hand (that is on the left for right-handers and on the right for left-handers) the box is place on the bicept with the knot on the inside of the arm. It is then tightened so that it stays in place. The blessing for the Shel Yad is then recited. The long strap is then wound around the lower part of the arm seven times above the wrist. The Shel Yad is then wrapped around the hand. There are many customs as to how the hand should be wrapped and the usual custom is to follow what your father or grandfather has done. If unsure, consult a Rabbi. All customs require that the strap be wound three times around the longest finger. Usually the straps will spell out the Hebrew word “Shadai” (that is “shin”, “daled” and “yod”) There is a special passage from the book of Hosea that is recited as we wind the strap around our finger.
The order of putting on Tephillin is to first put the Shel Yad on the arm but not wind it around the finger. Then put on the Shel Rosh, and then finish the Shel Yad. The boxes should touch the head and arm with nothing coming between them. All Jewish males over the age of 13 wear Tephillin and women who choose to do so may also wear them. For women it should not be a “once in a while” event, if a woman chooses to wear Tephillin, she should commit to wearing it every day. When taking off the Tephillin, one takes them off in the exact reverse order, first the hand, then the head and then the arm. They should be placed in the bag in such a way that the correct one will always be taken out in the proper order. Since Yad is put on first, it should be taken out first.
Tephillin are worn only for the weekday morning service. Since they are called “ot” meaning a “symbol” worn on the hand and on the head, they are not worn on Shabbat or Holidays which are also considered a symbol in their own right and we don’t need two symbols at the same time. The only time Tephillin are worn at Mincha, the afternoon service, is on Tisha B’av. When praying at home alone, when you first wake up in the morning, one should first take care of all hygenic needs, dress and then put on the Tephillin and pray. One can wear Tephillin without a minyan. There are many customs about whether or not to wear Tephillin on the intermediate days of holidays (Hol HaMoed) Our custom is not to wear them at all. Those who do wear them take them off before Hallel. On weekdays they are removed at the end of the service.
One stands when putting Tephillin on. Someone who is ill and cannot keep their body clean (i.e. diarrhea) should not wear Tephillin. Someone in severe pain should not wear Tephillin because they can not pay attention to their meaning. One should not sleep or eat while wearing Tephillin. It is usual to have Tephillin checked by a scribe twice in a seven year period or whenever there is a concern that the parchment may have been damaged. (i.e. from water)

Next week: Blessings for Different Occasions

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

May 31, 2004 – Number 5764-29

The Tallit

One of the most well known commandments in the Torah is the command to where Tzitzit (fringes) on all our four cornered garments. In ancient days, when our ancestors word toga-like garments, all clothing had four corners and thus all clothing required Tzitzit, a fringe in each corner. The purpose of the Tzitzit was to look at them and remember all the commandments that G-d has commanded us (see Numbers 15:39). Since looking at the Tzitzit is the vital part of the command, it is customary that they are worn during the day. This is why we do not wear Tzitzit when we daven at night (the lone exception is Yom Kippur and then we put the tallit on before Kol Nidre, which must happen before it gets dark.)
The Tzitzit should be made of the same material as the rest of the Tallit with the exception that wool Tzitzit can be used on any garment. They are attached to the garment by a hole an inch or two from the hem in each corner. Four threads are used, three of them the same size and the fourth is longer. This longer thread was once dyed blue (as mentioned in Numbers) when the cost of the blue dye became high and the dye rare, the requirement for a blue thread was relaxed. Today, in most cases, all four threads are the same color. The ends of all four are pushed through the hole doubling the number of threads to eight. Seven are to be the same length and the eighth longer. This longer thread is called the Shamash (helper). A double knot is made with the two groups of four threads. After the knot, the Shamash is wound around the other seven threads seven times. Another double knot is made and the Shamash is now wound around the other seven thread eight times. Another double knot is tied and then the Shamash is wound around the other seven knots eleven times. Another double knot is made and the Shamash is now wound around the other threads thirteen times and a fifth double knot is then tied. When finished the threads should be the length of 18 finger-breadths with the knots making up one third of the length. If a thread should be missing, the Tzitzit can not be used. The word Tzitzit in Hebrew, has the numerical equivalent of 600. Add to that the eight threads and the five knots and you get 613, the number of Mitzvot in the Torah.
There are two types of Tzitzit. The Tallit is worn usually only during the morning service. The Arbah Kanfot, or Tallit Katan can be worn all day every day, under our clothing. The Tallit Katan is just a rectangular piece of cloth with a hole cut in the middle for the head. Those who wear it put it on just after they get washed in the morning. There is a special blessing when it is put on. Those who wear the Tallit Katan often have the custom of not wearing the Tallit until they are married. Otherwise the Tallit is worn by all Male Jews after they become Bar Mitzvah. The Tallit is worn during morning services. Women are not required to wear the Tallit but they may do so if they wish. Tzitzit should be white (or with one blue thread) and not other colors. The cloth they are attached to can be any color whatsoever.
To put on the Tallit, one holds it in both hands and recites the blessing. The Tallit is then wrapped around the head. The Ashkenazic Jews then drape it on their shoulders and cover their back. During services there are times when the Tzitzit are collected and kissed in the morning service. The most well known is during the reading of the last paragraph of the Shema. The Tzitzit are collected before the Shema and in the third paragraph, when the word “Tzitzit” are recited in the third paragraph, the fringes are kissed. In addition the Tzitzit are kissed at the end of Baruch Sheamar and in the blessing right after the Shema.
Everyone should have their own Tallit but it is a big Mitzvah to share one with someone in need. If the Tallit is removed for a temporary reason, one does not recite the blessing again. Today a Tallit comes with Tzitzit and it is permitted to remove them and move them to a new Tallit. The old one is not thrown away but buried in a geniza along with old books. A tallit with one fringe missing is placed on the shoulders of a deceased male before the casket is closed.

Next week: Tephillin

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

May 17, 2004 – Number 5764-28

Shavuot – The Forgotten Holiday

There are three pilgrimage festivals on the Hebrew Calendar. Three times we are commanded to celebrate in Jerusalem, at the great Temple there, these three holidays. One is Sukkot, the holiday that is associated with great joy. The second is Pesach, the great holiday of Jewish Liberation. The third is Shavuot, a small Festival when compared to Pesach and Sukkot, but one that is important. The sad truth is that most people don’t know about Shavuot and don’t know why it ranks with Pesach and Sukkot as one of the three top Festivals of the Jewish year.
Sukkot is a seven day festival that has an eighth day attached to the end. Sukkot ends with Hoshana Rabba, but is immediately followed by Shemini Atzeret (and the second day of Shemini Atzeret which is now a virtual second holiday called Simchat Torah). The Sages say that Sukkot is an international holiday, and Shemini Atzeret is a special day, added to the end that is strictly for Jews. Six months later, once again at the full moon, is Pesach, another seven day holiday (with the last day doubled for calendar reasons making it eight days) Pesach too, the Sages say, has a concluding festival. It does not come, as Shemini Atzeret, immediately after Pesach, we first count 49 days from the beginning of Pesach until this additional festival arrives, called Shavuot.
As with Pesach and Sukkot, Shavuot has both a agricultural root as well as an historical root. Pesach begins the harvest of the new grain. Shavuot marks the beginning of the fruit harvest. Special ceremonies were held as each community brought decorated baskets of fruit to be dedicated at the Temple. The Torah does not directly give Shavuot a historical focus, but the Sages of the Talmud, through their calculations, declared that Shavuot was the day that Moses received the Torah at Mt. Sinai. One would think that this would be the basis of one of the most important days on the Jewish Calendar. But because there were Jews who believed that the Ten Commandments were the only thing revealed at Sinai, the importance of the day was lessened.
It was this connection to Torah that eventually gave Shavuot its most unique feature. The Kabbalists noted that the people of Israel had to get up early on the day of the revelation. Even so, they awoke to a mountain that was full of lightning and smoke. G-d, it seems was up even earlier and caught the People of Israel sleeping. To correct this conception that we were sleeping when G-d wanted to give us the Torah, we stay up all night, on Erev Shavuot, studying Torah and the commentaries of the Sages. G-d will not catch us sleeping again. This study session is called “Tikkun L’el Shavuot
The other custom associated with Shavuot is the eating of dairy foods, especially blintzes. The reason is really unknown (who knows why one food becomes associated with one holiday or another?) but we say that after the revelation, and the giving of the laws of Kashrut, the People of Israel were too exhausted to go out and ritually slaughter meat according to the new laws. They decided to eat only dairy and so we eat dairy on Shavuot to this very day.
Passover and Sukkot are seven day festivals. Shavuot is only two days long. We should also note that the Torah never gives us a date when Shavuot is to begin. It begins 50 days after the beginning of Pesach. Passover and Sukkot always fall on the new moon of the month, Shavuot does not. The Torah is not even clear when we are supposed to begin our count. The Torah seems to indicate that the count begins from the Shabbat of Pesach, which would give Shavuot a different day to begin every year. According to the Talmud, however, we begin the count on the second day of Pesach, so that Shavuot always falls on the sixth of Nisan.
Because of its agricultural background, the Book of Ruth is read on Shavuot and there is a special piyyut that is designated for Shavuot called “Akdumot” (from its opening word) that speaks of the glory of Torah. In some places, the synagogue is decorated with branches from trees and other large green plants to remember the fruits our ancestors brought to the Temple. Because of its dedication to Torah, when Judaism lifted the ceremony of Confirmation from the Christians, as a means of extending the education of children after Bar or Bat Mitzvah, Shavuot became an obvious day to celebrate this milestone.

Next week: The Tallit

Lessons in Memory of my brother Dale Alan Konigsburg

May 10, 2004 – Number 5764-27

Kashrut VI: Controversies in Kashrut: When the Rules Are Not Clear

Chicken – The separation between milk and meat should not apply to chicken since one can not boil a chicken in its mother’s milk. The law, however, is that Chicken is considered meat since it is too easy to confuse it with the meat from large, four legged mammals. One can not mix chicken with milk
Fish – Fish is not considered meat since it is so different from meat that one will not confuse the two. For some reason there is a custom not to serve fish and meat on the same plate because of “danger”. The Sages assume this danger is one of chocking on a bone. The Rabbinical Assembly’s Law and Standards Committee (LASC) has ruled that this “danger” is no longer an issue and one CAN serve fish and meat on the same plate.
Fish: Sturgeon and Swordfish – The issues with these fish is that while they are young they have both fins and scales. When they mature, the scales fall off. There is a stringent position that if there is a doubt about the status of a fish, we do not eat it. The LASC has ruled that these fish can be eaten and considered Kosher.
Wine – Of all the beverages, wine is in a class by itself. Since wine was used extensively by pagans in their rituals, it became the rule that wine could not be handled by non-Jews lest they pour out a libation to their pagan gods. By extension, it also applies to vinegar. Kosher wine is either certified that it has not been handled by non-Jews or that it is “Mevushal” or “cooked”. Wine that is “mevushal” is forbidden to be offered to a pagan god so it is always considered Kosher. Until recently, it was impossible to get Kosher wine that was not “mevushal”. Wine experts have long insisted that this cooking took all the flavor out of Kosher wines. It is now possible, however, to get Kosher wine that is NOT “mevushal” and such wine can not be poured by non-Jews. The question is can Jews drink wine that is not certified Kosher. The LASC has ruled that while wine that is not certified can be consumed by Jews, one SHOULD use a Kosher wine if it will be used when a blessing is to be recited. Please note that wine shows up in lots of places, including many liquors. The blessing for wine involves grapes so the blessing should only be recited over Kosher grape wines.
Cheese – While the cheese itself is almost always Kosher, the process of making it becomes an issue. Rennet, a chemical that is not part of the cheese but part of the processing that makes the cheese, is usually derived from animals and these animals are assumed to be not Kosher. Kosher cheese does not use rennet or uses an acceptable form of rennet (the study of Kashrut often will make a person a vegetarian). The LASC has ruled that rennet, no matter where it comes from, is now a chemical that is distinct from what it came from. Thus all cheeses can be eaten. This is a very controversial ruling and there are many Conservative Jews who do NOT hold by it.
Turkey – Birds must appear on the list in the book of Leviticus to be considered Kosher. The turkey can not appear on this list since it only exists in N. America and was unknown in Europe and the middle East. By the usual rules, it should not be Kosher but it is, in all cases, Kosher when slaughtered by a shochet. Pheasant is also not on the list and there are authorities that permit it (when slaughtered by a shochet) and those who do not accept it as a Kosher bird. In any event, it can not be hunted for food.
Eco-Kosher – There are some who maintain that since one of the reasons for Kashrut is to teach us ethical behavior, we should withhold Kosher certification from products that are grown and harvested using mistreated farm workers or not eating meat that has been “abused” by the farmers and slaughterers. My feeling is that Kashrut is complicated enough without the addition of these ethical issues. If I don’t agree with the way workers are treated or that animals are mistreated before they are killed, I should not buy such products. But it would not be accurate to declare such things “treif”. Kashrut is not about ethical behavior, it is about doing the will of our Creator. Refusing to eat veal or non-Union lettuce may be an important statement to corporate America, but it should not be attached to the laws of Kashrut.
Please remember: Just because there are some controversies over Kashrut, it does not mean that the whole issue has been overturned. These are only some issues that, when we bring Kashrut into our lives, we have to confront eventually and we have to know what the rules are.

Next week: Shavuot: The Forgotten Holiday