change

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Come On People Now, Smile On Your Brother…

 

 

In the Book of Genesis, Chapter 44, Judah speaks out to save Benjamin from slavery. He puts his life on the line to protect his step-brother in a way that Judah never did for his other step-brother Joseph. After years of lies, Judah finally stakes his life on telling the truth.

In my synagogue bulletin article for December 2016 I quoted Susan Talve, the founding Rabbi of Central Reform Congregation of St. Louis, who wrote in the September issue of Shema Now Magazine (Vol. 47 no. 719) the following sentence, “I found that we must all sacrifice self-interest for the common good while growing opportunities for dialog and the possibility for change.” I find myself drawn back to her statement time after time, because of the implications of her observation to all of our discourse in the United States today.

Rabbis have been preaching about the difficulties of dialogue for the last ten years. As our country polarized between points of view and because the internet made it possible for words we spoke years ago, to never really disappear, people began to speak out on topics of importance; but the possibility of dialogue, the ability to grow and change positions, the art of nuance in our speech and the quest for understanding, all began to disappear. It became more important to shout down an “opponent” rather than hear what they were trying to say. It was more important to silence opposition rather than admit that there might be a point in something they said. Those who took a middle position, refusing to engage in hyper-partisanism, were accused by partisans on both sides of being wishy-washy or secret members of the “other side”.

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It is in the political arena where this is most obvious. Political parties often would change positions as public opinion changed. What was a core value one year was off the table the next. Politicians at all levels of government would do a sidestep dance while waiting to hear what the public wanted. Over time, because of the instant communication possible, there were many who were looking for any sign of wavering among elected officials so that they could immediately show these officials that there was a price if they did not strictly adhere to the party line. The rise of the “Tea Party” is just one example of how wavering politicians found themselves losing to the rise of those who were considered “pure” when it came to hot button issues. Shutting down the government was more important than compromise.

Today the situation is getting dire. Politicians are all about getting elected and not about what their position is on important issues. There is no longer any talk about bipartisan agendas. Candidates are stressing their ability to hold fast to a position no matter what the other side tries to say. Today leadership means finding ways to work around legislatures unwilling or unable to do their job of creating laws that reflect the wide range of ideas that exist in our population. This leaves the political class to promise the electorate anything they want to hear, knowing that the agenda they espouse has no chance in the legislature, while at the same time accepting money from the people they will need to regulate to pay for campaigns that grow ever more expensive.

Now being elected has become more important than anything. So, voting districts are gerrymandered to make sure that one party or the other can’t lose their seat. Voter ID laws are promulgated to “prevent voter fraud” when in reality they are to prevent people who don’t “vote for me” from voting. And now, in North Carolina, when the party does lose an office, the legislature moves to strip the power from the office they no longer control. This is the real “Voter Fraud” defrauding voters into believing that legislators are making these changes to “protect voter rights” while actually stripping voters of their right to vote.

Self-preservation has become more important than self-sacrifice. What is good for me is often more important than the common good. Making my point is more important than listening to others. My being right is more important than creating change for the better.

Others may speak out on the political side of these problems but the arguments here put us on solid religious ground. My faith teaches: “Who is wise? The one who learns from everyone.” My faith teaches that we have responsibilities, no matter who we are, to the poor, the stranger, the orphan and the widow. My faith teaches that the greatest sage taught his students to give the opinion of your opponent before expressing your own opinion.  My faith teaches that we should be flexible like a reed and not rigid like the cedar lest the wind come and shatter us. My faith teaches that while a majority rules we must also take into account the opinions of the minority.  I teach couples getting married that “What is more important than what you give, is what you forgive and what is more important than what you get is what you can forget.” What applies in the microcosm of marriage applies even more in the macrocosm of society.

I keep hearing in my head, the probably apocryphal story of Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan who taught homiletics at the Jewish Theological Seminary for many years. It is said that he would give a sermon in class on Tuesday and then challenge the students to give a sermon on the same topic in Thursday’s class. He was known for being very critical of the students’ efforts on Thursday. One week a student took copious notes on Tuesday and then on Thursday repeated back to Rabbi Kaplan the exact words he spoke on Tuesday. Rabbi Kaplan said “That was a terrible sermon”. That student said, “But Rabbi Kaplan, those were your exact words on Tuesday!” Rabbi Kaplan replied, “Young man, I have GROWN since then!”

I am looking for leaders who can grow into the positions of leadership to which they aspire. I am looking for leaders who are not afraid to say to an opponent, “You are right.” (and not just because the leader is on the left.) My faith defines that the best leaders are the ones who speak up for those who have no voice. My faith despises Lashon HaRa (hurtful speech) and Rechilut (lies) that defraud and delude those who are listening. My faith would change Sinat Hinam – causeless hatred, hatred only because you are different than me, it would change it into Hesed, acts of kindness, even if the kindness is to someone who would have no way to repay the favor.

I teach the story of George Washington and the cherry tree to children, not because I believe the story to be true; (I have no way of knowing either way if it is true or not) but because it teaches that great leaders don’t lie. George Washington imposed term limits on himself because he did not believe that leaders should rule forever. American politics need more leaders who are humble and caring about those they represent. No one person should think that they have to be right at any cost.

We need politicians who are more moral in their personal and professional lives. Not public figures who insist that their moral opinions should be practiced by everyone. That would be a violation of the First Amendment, the amendment that separates church and state. I want to see leaders who do what is right because it is right for all Americans. Who compromise because that is what will move our country forward. Who are willing to sacrifice themselves on behalf of the common good. We need leaders who are not afraid to say, “I have grown since then”.

What will it take to have leaders like these? It will take a concentrated effort from those in this country who hold these values to be the true test of leadership. Yes, my friends, we will always get the leaders we deserve. We will get self-serving leaders if we are only interested in what serves our self-interest. We will get leaders who don’t listen if we don’t listen to others about what is important to society. We will get politicians who lie if we reward them with election victories. But if we look for the real values for our country. If we elect leaders and legislators who would do what is best for our country, ones that speak out about fairness, understanding, cooperation and compromise, we will get leaders who will take our country not back to some past era of prosperity, but forward to a new era of peace, prosperity and hope.

Talkin’ About My Generation
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Talkin’ About My Generation

(With thanks to my cousin Jody Wentico who convinced me to watch the Super Bowl this year)

I really didn’t have any “skin” in the game when it came to Super Bowl 50. I have friends in Denver, Colorado and in Charlotte, North Carolina so either way someone was going to be happy. Still, in the fourth quarter, I found myself rooting for the Broncos, or rather for Payton Manning.

As I watched the game, I realized that the Panther’s quarterback, Cam Newton, was really struggling. He was angry, frustrated and not playing up to his potential. As the television cameras focused on his face, I began to see something I have seen many times before, the look of a young, smart and talented person who was suffering from a lack of experience. Faced with a defense that just kept coming at him, his composure was cracking under the strain of what he knew would be the harsh judgment of him after the game if he lost; and clearly he was losing.

After the game, I found myself thinking about an article I read on EJewishPhilantropy, “Raw Talent vs. Experience: What Are You Really Looking For?” The author, Elliot Cowan, coming from the design world, speaks about how talent is worth more than experience. He makes the point that he would rather work with someone with a great deal of talent and give him more experience than work with someone experienced but without any real talent. Mr. Cowan writes, “But if we look through history it wasn’t the people with only experience that propelled us forward, and even if you would like to suggest an example of this in the comments below, the chances are that it was their talent that ultimately made the difference, not their experience. They all gained experience and knowledge as they got older and they would not have been the successes they were without it, but it was the talent that got them there in the first place.”

Talent got Cam Newton into the Super Bowl but it was talent and experience that made Payton Manning the winner.

I am not a football player. I am a Rabbi. Part of what I do is act as a lawyer for Jewish Law. Part of what I do is advise lay leadership as they steer a course for a synagogue and part of what I do is try and help those in my community find their way when they are lost and feeling alone. In this last role, I have been blessed with an opportunity to really make a difference in people’s lives. I can give hope and encouragement in some people’s most desperate times.

When I was a young Rabbi, people came to me for advice and I found often that they were teaching me more than I was teaching them. My senior Rabbi at the time worked with me patiently so I could learn to see what he could see and hear in the voices what he could hear. I would see and hear exactly the same things as he did, but his experience gave him, and ultimately me, a greater depth of understanding.

I now find myself in a generation locked in a battle between talent and experience. Experienced Baby Boomers (full disclosure, I am of this generation) are not yet ready to retire and let a younger generation take over. Millennials with great talent and energy are struggling to find a place in leadership because the Boomers won’t let go. We live in a culture that values youth and talent. Ageism is rampant in the world of job searches and employment. Advertising reaches out to the younger generations, leaving the 55 and older generation to contemplate retirement accounts and Medicare Supplement Plans. Even among Rabbis searching for new positions, it seems as if everyone is looking for a 35 year old Rabbi with 40 years of experience. Search committees don’t speak this out loud but silently they opine; “Only a young rabbi will do since he or she will speak to the new generation to get them involved. The future of the synagogue is in how we attract younger Jews.”

But talent and creativity is not the sole domain of the young. Talent and creativity do not discriminate between the old and the young. There is a Talmudic story of four Rabbis who attempted to enter paradise. Usually this is interpreted to mean they delved into esoteric and mystical texts. One of the four died, another went insane, one became an apostate, only Rabbi Akiva entered and departed unharmed. What enabled Rabbi Akiva to avoid the dangers of ancient mysticism? Perhaps it was because he had started his studies twenty years later than his colleagues and was near 50 when he was ordained. All four Sages were talented, but only one had the experience to emerge unscathed.

At a recent board meeting at my synagogue, one of the youngest members of my board, a woman with young children, stood up and said, “I don’t want a young rabbi with young children advising me; I want one that has experience, who has raised his [or her] children and can teach me and show me how to be a better parent.” Why do we so often turn to our parents for advice and guidance? I think it is because they have years of experience in living that we just can’t find anywhere else.

Not everyone who is older is wiser. Not everyone who is young is talented. Some people never learn from their mistakes. Some people never realize their talents. Some people are wise beyond their years and others never really grow up at all. This is why discrimination by age, or any discrimination for that matter, is bad policy. No good will come if we refuse to find wisdom wherever it may be found.

The talent vs. experience debate, the young vs. old debate is a false choice. What we should be looking for is wisdom, that elusive blend of both talent and experience that can come at any age and at any stage of a person’s life. We like to think the world is changing rapidly, and in many ways it is changing faster than ever before. But in many ways the world has not changed at all. The workplace is still filled with stress and pressure. Children still do crazy things that endanger their life and limb. Women are still trying to figure out how to balance raising children and career. Young couples still are trying to provide for their families in the face of great debt and financial insecurity. We all still fear illness and accidents, and we all wonder what the future will bring. Wisdom is what we need to navigate all these struggles without letting ourselves slide into despair, depression or insecurity. But wisdom can’t be bought nor does it come in pill form. It only is acquired by time and patience. It comes from sitting and learning from someone older and wiser. Wisdom is not about working faster; it is about working smarter.

Different generations have different things to teach each other. The best course is to combine talent with experience, wisdom with understanding, and gumption with patience.

I wouldn’t want to be the young quarterback next year who has to face an experienced Cam Newton.

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Living in a Material Word

As Fashion week came to and end in New York, and the New York Times put out its spring edition of T magazine with all the latest fashions for the next season, I began to reflect on what it means to be in style.

On the one hand, nobody wants to be out of date. Ties may grow wide or thin, lapels may be large or small, hemlines may rise and fall and we had to decide if we are going to join this new trend or not. It is not just clothing. We are constantly checking to see if we have gone out of style in one way or another. We look to see how others (or models in magazines) are wearing their hair. If we are shopping for a car we look to see what our friends are driving. We visit new restaurants based on where others are eating. We watch television shows that are creating “buzz”. We want to see whatever movie that “everyone else is seeing”.  And if our technology fashion is based on  Apple standards, we just have to have the latest release from the company that Steve Jobs built.

To be sure there are those who do not want to be trend setters. We are the last to see the movie, buy a fashionable outfit or own the latest gadget. Still we do care that we do not fall too far behind. There are many pragmatic reasons to not always be first in line. Still there is a measure of ignobility if we fall too far behind that others may laugh at what we own.

And yet there are some things that just never go out of style. Like a tuxedo or your basic black party dress, somehow the basics always stay in style. Young people may always go for what is new and different, but somehow as we mature (and I am not talking senior citizen here, just your basic adult)we find ourselves attracted to what is enduring.  We get this sense that there has to be something that is the foundation upon which we can rely. The world can’t always be a rocking ocean, sometimes we need to find a quiet harbor where we can weather a storm.

And that is exactly why faith never goes out of style.

Religion is the foundation upon which we can build our lives. It is the important base that makes all the impermanent things in life, useable.

There seems to always be people who declare that religion is hopelessly out of date.  Those people in the Bible, they may be quaint but They will never be as sophisticated as we are. What the Bible calls “miracles” are just signs as to how ignorant those ancient people were. Don’t forget, why in the world would we need laws that just outright forbid lying, adultery and theft? Our world today is more “grey” than that.

There are also people who say that religion is actually immoral. All that indiscriminate killing, the death penalty, and the idea of a “jealous” God who forces Pharaoh to sin so God can punish him and his entire country, what kind of a faith is this? Look at all the hatred and war that religion has brought upon the world. Who needs this? What kind of a Bible preaches love but then encourages discrimination against blacks, women and homosexuals? “No thanks”, they say, “give me a good secular culture any day.”

Judaism is my faith and certainly there are things that are on record of which I am not proud. There are moments in every age in history where there are ideas and incidents that I think I could easily live without.  Certainly there is, in Judaism, enough to criticize and bow our heads in shame.

But religion is not meant to be perfect. It is the record of how humanity and God have tried to understand each other. It  is a choppy history, one that is full of mistakes, blunders and wrong turns. The record of Judaism is filled with conflict and power grabs. That is, of course, the human way.  But Judaism keeps on going  because underneath all the problems, is a core that we Jews understand is God trying to show us how to live better lives. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we fail to understand, sometimes we go on a wrong turn that lasts for centuries. But in the end, no matter how many circles we go around, there is still some progress toward a better world and better human beings. It does take time to get some moral growth out of our selfish and deluded brains.

But God has all the time in the world. God is not bound by our restrictions of time and space.

God has high expectations that have had to come down sometimes to our level. We have a long way to go to raise ourselves up to where God wants us to be. So we struggle, we try, we aspire and we experiment with what we think God wants from us.  What looks good on paper often does not work in real life. Real life sometimes demands that we update what we have put down as moral certainty on paper. The moral fads eventually give way to what will become classics, the understanding of life that includes morality, fairness, understanding, justice and love.

God’s light shines brightly on our world, and as we draw closer to the source of that light, our lives can shine brighter too. The point of faith is not to be perfect, but to try harder every day to bring more light into our lives and into the lives of those who lives touch our own.